Things in College I Expected Correctly:
- sleep? what’s that?
- Search for the ultimate truth every day, have an amazing discovery in one class and spend the entire next class chasing questions like “What is a door, and why do we call it a door?” – everyone leaves class confused, I still don’t know why we call it a door
- an unusual preponderance of amazing people
- the Outside is an exciting place, y’all, and I’m going back into it
- swing-dancing and shenanigans outside
Things in College That My Prescience Failed to Predict:
- bolting from the last morning class, sprinting down the street to the parking lot, and piling into the back of a pickup with nineteen other students for a windblown ride to daily mass
- nightly bonfires right outside the dorms
- the assigned essay word-count isn’t high enough
- deEP DARK SECRET RITUALS (THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS COLLEGE, OK)
- wow yes still in a state of shock from that last one
Coming soon: “Why Epic of Gilgamesh has the best Cyclical Ending” and other unnecessary unassigned essays you never asked for. Watch out.